Life is difficult,
I don't know what's happening with me, but really I'm feeling so bad and so lonely those days. It's true that I have a lot of good friends and I love them so much, but last days I feel isolated from the atmosphere.
I laugh when I'm next to my friend and I enjoy time with them, but really my laughs are like the crocodile's tears. I mean that I just try to chuckle in front of my friends, but I feel bad inside. I'm not lying here or trying to write an ordinary text that teacher ask about, but I'm telling you about what I'm feeling that hurt me, and become like obstacles in my social and educational life.
Yesterday, me and the Arab guys in the dorm made a barbecue party in the garden in the back of our dorm, really it was fantastic but when we finished it and I return to my room I feel again lonely and isolated. Saturday also I had a small party with my relatives, and I spent a funny time by playing Turk Scrabble and driving to Kocaeli where my relatives stay, but I still feeling lonely. Since more than 9 days, I cannot sleep and today I stayed until 6 o'clock not because I was playing Fifa 2011 on the PS or chatting with friends on the Facebook but it was only to sleep. I spend more 4 hours on my bed, thinking and thinking without any sense. I talked to my mother this morning on the phone, and I tried to tell here what insomnia I'm passing but she used to talk as usual positively and tried to keep me good. She said that what I'm facing is only because I'm not near to them but it's not my first year far from the family, it's more than 6 years. I do not have any social problems and maybe I had some bad love experiences. Maybe it's because of that, or maybe because I just started a new life between school and association works, and struggling to start again my job.I believe that I will gain this ''war'', but I don't know If I have the power to fight so far.
◊ AGENDA ◊
